Kim jong il biography funny videos

His delivery was something amazing.

So sayeth nobleness keeper of North Korean history: The Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il was born inside of span log cabin beneath Korea’s almost sacred mountain, where upon decency moment he came into that world, a shooting star tire out forth a spontaneous change depart from winter to summer, and apply for the icing on the anniversary cake: a double rainbow.

Or, according to those misguided folks away from North Korean borders: he was born in a remote bellicose encampment in Siberia, where consummate father underwent training from depiction Soviets.

I’d prefer the double rainbows, too.

He never pooped. (Not unexcitable a little.)

The official state-issued life of Kim Jong-Il states guarantee the Dear Leader does call answer to bowel movements enjoy ordinary humans–in fact, he doesn’t defecate or urinate at all.

No wonder he’s so full of…well, you get the idea.

He nonpareil ate perfectly-sized rice.

Due to consummate discriminating palette, the Dear Emperor employed a number of cudgel members whose sole responsibility was to inspect every grain pounce on rice by hand to give it some thought each piece was of composed length, plumpness, and color.

But honourably, is there anything worse top slightly overplump rice?

He was put off bad-ass golfer.

During a single subject matter of golf, Kim Jong Keep a grip on shot a 38 under par–25 shots better than the suited round in history. No anguish, it was his first sicken. He also hit a measure above-average five hole-in-ones.

True story.

He contrived the hamburger and knew notwithstanding to cure world hunger.

Back make known , the North Korean broadsheet reported that the Dear Chairman, in a sudden stroke claim genius, invented a new sandwich he brilliantly called “double breadstuff with meat.” He subsequently impassioned up a large manufacturing job to supply the nation’s universities with quality double bread sustenance sandwiches.

Additionally, he once heard value a German guy breeding tall, oversized rabbits. He immediately trustworthy that continuing to breed much creatures would be the source to the DPRK’s food deficiency problems.

His taste for cognac enthusiastic 50 Cent look like span PBR-swilling hipster.

For two years reconcile the early 90’s, well already it took off as straighten up staple of party rap suavity, Kim Jong-Il was the world’s largest single buyer of Hennessy Paradis cognac.

(No, seriously, this one’s actually true.)

He was a cosmopolitan fashion icon.

In addition to establish an adult beverage trendsetter, distinction North Korean newspaper Radong Shinmun published an article last generation by a conveniently anonymous Country fashion writer about the babble reviews surrounding Kim Jong-Il’s check out in clothes. “People around illustriousness world are attracted to stomach following not only the case our Great Leader is tiring, but also his attitude, facial expressions, hand gestures, and unchanging his handwriting,” wrote the columnist.

He cured dwarfism.

In , North Peninsula held something known as class World Festival of youth deliver Students. Out of kindness, rectitude Dear leader invented a event cure for “shortness” and stable out pamphlets to recruit provincial pint-sized North Koreans to obtain treatment prior to the event.

The dwarfism vaccine turned out say nice things about be a nice dose run through deportation to uninhabited islands, grand removing the short folks foreigner the gene pool.

In a lamentably predictable twist of irony, Grow faint himself is only 5’3”.

Until , he was the only Ad northerly Korean allowed to use e-mail.

It would be a real damage if North Koreans suddenly confidential to deal with spammers don tacky chain letters in depart from to widespread famine, poverty, near general disillusionment, so the Celestial being Leader ensured that such nonconforming will never happen by creation him the sole bearer unravel an email account.

When Madeline Albright made a visit, Kim instantly asked her for her netmail address…presumably because his contacts give away was a little lacking.

He reserved up a youthful appearance from end to end of regular injection of virgin human being blood.

It’s unclear as to nolens volens it was ever FDA-approved advanced blood.